Gaffe alert: Biden on ‘made in Ohio’ tour, threatens to stay there through November

Fired up?

Biden is on the “made in Ohio tour”

— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) May 16, 2012

Oh, dear! Biden unleashed again. He may have learned his lesson because he is apparently trying to keep mum … even while giving a speech.

Biden is low talking

— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) May 16, 2012

From @dskolnick: Biden wrapping up his speech. Speaking so softly, it's difficult to hear in restricted media area. #BidenVindy

— The Vindicator (@vindicator) May 16, 2012

When Biden goes into low&quiet mode, tough for press to hear = Biden madlibs! "Moms, dads … jobs … long walk … ladies & gentlemen"

— Carrie Dann (@CarrieNBCNews) May 16, 2012

Biden muzzled!

Biden is always taken very seriously.

Is it too much to ask for a Biden cameo in Anchorman? He was a senator in the 70s. MAKE IT HAPPEN, @JuddApatow!

— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) May 16, 2012

RT @AliNBCNews: Biden mentions "Trenton Makes, the World Takes" bridge – always seemed like kind of a passive aggressive bridge to me

— Jake Tapper (@jaketapper) May 16, 2012

Joe Biden had the lowest net worth of any senator, right? Stoked to hear what he thinks about the economy

— Daniel Foster (@DanFosterType) May 16, 2012

Writing off such an important state so soon? MT @markknoller: The Obama Campaign has dispatched VP Biden to the key state of Ohio…

— David Freddoso (@freddoso) May 16, 2012

Wouldn't it be more fun if @VP Joe Biden actually tweeted himself? My guess is it would be a lot like "Deep Thoughts By Jack Handey" #Biden

— John Julitz (@JohnJulitz) May 16, 2012

He’s also super smart! And has lots of job creation experience!

Biden is talking about loading things up with debt, how about his record of piling $5 trillion in debt on the United States?

— Joe Pounder (@PounderFile) May 16, 2012

All you need to know about Obamanomics in one headline: "Biden attacks Romney tenure as venture capitalist"

— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) May 16, 2012

Biden: it’s not just manufacturing that’s coming back. The middle class is coming back. America is coming back.

— Zeke Miller (@ZekeJMiller) May 16, 2012

Biden: "In the 90s, there was a steel mill in business since 1888. Then Romney bought the company. 8 years later it went bankrupt." #logic

— Daniel Foster (@DanFosterType) May 16, 2012

Biden tells Ohio voters “things really are starting to come back.” These 3 charts say otherwise

— James Pethokoukis (@JimPethokoukis) May 16, 2012

On a visit to an Ohio manufacturing plant, Biden will say that "things really are starting to come back" under "Obama Economics."

— Mark Knoller (@markknoller) May 16, 2012

Last time Obama worked full-time in the private sector: 1996. Last time Biden did: 1972.

— jimgeraghty (@jimgeraghty) May 16, 2012

In Ohio, 1 in 8 jobs relate to the auto industry—that’s 848,000 Ohioans whose jobs are more secure thanks to President Obama. #MadeInOhio

— Joe Biden (@JoeBiden) May 16, 2012

Like math, reality is hard.

Man! RT @jaketapper: Biden says of China: "We let 'em know, there's a new administration in town, man!"

— Olivia (@PartyCatOlivia) May 16, 2012

What, no “God love ya?”

Sounds like a threat. RT @AWMooneyCNN: Biden jokes he'll be in Ohio pretty much from now until november

— (@LifeNewsHQ) May 16, 2012

Good luck, Ohio! Looks like you are being gifted with Biden for the long haul. Our condolences.

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Some of his best trips are Jewish! Hagel bumbles on Israel and competence!/NathanWurtzel/status/297012560992034816

You would think the absurdity could have ended right there. But, no. There was more. A lot more. Senators are reportedly in “shock” over Chuck Hagel’s bumbling performance during his Secretary of Defense hearing. Senator Cruz shredded Hagel with his own words. And Twitter users did the same. Next time, senators, just look to Twitter to avoid further “shock.”

Wow, Hage now saying that he led the fight to save the Haifa USO station. Chutzpah.

— DrewM (@DrewMTips) January 31, 2013

Some of his best trips are Jewish

— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) January 31, 2013

I’m just waiting to hear #Hagel announce we’re all invited to a Seder at his place this year.

— Melissa Braunstein (@slowhoneybee) January 31, 2013

Hagel: My favorite foods include kugel, latkes and whitefish salad.

— Jeffrey Goldberg (@JeffreyGoldberg) January 31, 2013

Heh. Like President Obama, he probably knows more about Judaism than anyone. Because he has read books or something. Alas, Hagel’s own words and actions “out” him.

Hagel has written chapters on Iraq and on the Middle East. So we’re cool.

— Jeffrey Goldberg (@JeffreyGoldberg) January 31, 2013

Obama believes the same. What’s the shock? RT @jeffreygoldberg: Did Hagel just call Iran’s gov “elected and legitimate”?

— Yossi Gestetner (@YossiGestetner) January 31, 2013

hahahah RT @philipaklein: Hagel says he knows of no other instance in which he used the “Jewish Lobby” term, “on the record”

— Joel Gehrke (@Joelmentum) January 31, 2013

Hagel translated: I didn’t say what it sounded like I said, & if I did I didn’t mean it. And besides I agree w/ the prez in any event.

— David M. Drucker (@DavidMDrucker) January 31, 2013

Wait… #Hagel now does NOT regret saying Madeleine Albright leaned too far in #Israel‘s direction… someone please hand him another note

— Joel Pollak (@joelpollak) January 31, 2013

RT @zekejmiller: Jewish Democrat: “Chuck Hagel needed to put questions about Iran and Israel to bed today and instead he raised new ones.”

— Philip Klein (@philipaklein) January 31, 2013

Hagel: I’d like to go back “and change the words and the meaning” of his claims Israel treating Palestinians like animals #andthemeaning

— Stephen Hayes (@stephenfhayes) January 31, 2013

Shorter Hagel….everything I’ve ever said about Israel is unfortunate and I’d like to revise and extend my remarks.

— DrewM (@DrewMTips) January 31, 2013

Why does Hagel have such huge eye bags? Maybe that’s where he stores his antisemitism.

— Jon Gabriel (@ExJon) January 31, 2013

Chuck Hagel is a liar. The facts are against you, dude. You’ve said disparaging remarks about Jews and Israel. Disgusting. #tcot

— Gabriella Hoffman (@Gabby_Hoffman) January 31, 2013

Indeed. Senator Cruz called him out on that. And M.J. Rosenberg raised more questions today with his claim that Hagel is “happily lying” about his beliefs about Israel today. Will the media investigate those claims?

Aside from his atrocious beliefs about Israel, there is another matter: What about his utter incompetence?

Hagel-defenders, put aside not caring about his extreme anti-Israel views. How do you defend his sheer incompetence?

— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) January 31, 2013

Guys, give Hagel a break. Do you realize how confusing it is to remember what you used to believe and what you believe now?

— Matt Mackowiak (@MattMackowiak) January 31, 2013

Oops. #Hagel just re-introduced Global Zero, trying to defend past suggestion that “containment” on Iran was an option. @kellyayotte pounces

— Joel Pollak (@joelpollak) January 31, 2013

Hagel seems to have given lots of speeches and written reports in which he didn’t take positions but merely laid out ranges of options.

— Stephen Hayes (@stephenfhayes) January 31, 2013

So was Hagel just binge viewing TV shows on Netflix for the past few weeks instead of preparing for this hearing?

— Philip Klein (@philipaklein) January 31, 2013

The #Hagel doctrine: “I think it’s always wise to try to talk to people before you get into war”

— Sara Murray (@SaraMurray) January 31, 2013

I don’t want any Israel hater as SoD, but a bigger problem is Hagel simply isn’t up to this job, period.

— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) January 31, 2013

The fact that @barackobama picked Chuck Hagel as Sec of Defense is further proof of his bizarre world view.

— Jim Hoft (@gatewaypundit) January 31, 2013

Hagel: “I won’t be in in a policymaking position…” Not even defense policy, apparently. He said this to reassure Senators.

— Brit Hume (@brithume) January 31, 2013

If only senators had listened to you earlier, Brit.

RT @rickklein: so Chuck Hagel said this today: “If confirmed, I intend to know a lot more than I do.”

— Andrew Stiles (@AndrewStilesNRO) January 31, 2013

No, seriously. The bumbling buffoon said that.

SecDefs should be either bold visionaries, or BLATANTLY competent managers. Hagel is neither.

— RB (@RBPundit) January 31, 2013

Of course, some (including Chuck Todd) spin frantically for Hagel.

Shorter Left:All Hagel said was that the Jews were fundamentally no different than the Nazis.He didn’t say they were worse. #winthespin

— InnocuousPicGuy69 (@AceofSpadesHQ) January 31, 2013

Twitter user @NathanWurtzel sets them straight with one tweet.

Jooooooooooos RT @dmataconis: The neo-cons are against Hagel because they think he’ll stop their dream of another war.

— Nathan Wurtzel (@NathanWurtzel) January 31, 2013

And these Twitter users try to come up with a positive side to this mess.

EXACTLY! RT @imao_ I never liked Hagel, so now I’m kinda glad he got nominated because this is hilarious.

— RB (@RBPundit) January 31, 2013

Good news is Biden will finally have a playmate. #Hagel

— S.M (@redsteeze) January 31, 2013

Hey, if we don’t laugh, then we’ll curl up in the corner and weep. Mockery, the best medicine. So, there’s that?

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Touré breaks down America’s givers and takers, ignores actual giving

When it comes to misinformation, MSNBC’s Touré is a giver. Today he’s on about red states and blue states, and how blue states are the givers. We wouldn’t necessarily call paying taxes “giving,” and Touré’s followers aren’t ready to concede that conservatives are doing all the taking.!/Matthops82/status/371376694474452992!/DaveDenomie/status/371381158023413761

But, numbers! Never mind what a certain former senator said about there being no such thing as a liberal America and a conservative America; there are now Republican states.

You know what else some people say wasn’t an accident, right?

That’s not fair; everyone knows the Republicans running Detroit drove their city into bankruptcy.

Touré stopped making sense quite a while ago. Maybe it would make more sense to look at individuals and actual giving, not redistribution through taxation. Professor Arthur C. Brooks “assumed that the people who are most vociferous about socioeconomic inequality would give the most to alleviate it,” but proved his theory wrong through an extensive study that inspired his 2006 book, “Who Really Cares: The Surprising Truth About Compassionate Conservatism.” As Barbara J. Elliot explained:

Conservative households donate 30 percent more money to charity than liberal households, and they are more likely to volunteer as well. Why the difference? Brooks found that liberals view government redistribution as a “form of charity,” which they believe exonerates them from further giving. But it clearly is not the same thing. Charity is voluntary and taxation is not.

So, maybe it’s time to slash taxes, cut off the “takers” and see who complains.!/misteratlanta/status/371429308742381568

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Pope’s last tweet thanks followers for ‘love and support’; Hateful trolls wish death, spew vulgarity!/Pontifex/status/307158221817274368

As the final hours of his papacy wind down, Pope Benedict XVI departed the Vatican for the papal retreat and sent his final tweet from the @Pontifex account. The pope thanked followers for their “love and support” and wished them the “joy that comes from putting Christ at the centre of your lives.”

BREAKING: Benedict XVI leaves Vatican for last time as pope, flies by helicopter to papal retreat. -MM

— The Associated Press (@AP) February 28, 2013

Photo: Pope Benedict XVI greeted on the tarmack after landing safely at Castel Gandolfo…

— CBS This Morning (@CBSThisMorning) February 28, 2013

The pope was the target of daily venom during his short tenure on Twitter, and his last day was no exception.

“@pontifex: Thank you for your love and support young boys, may you always experience the joy that comes from pedophilia & ruined lives.”

— GreenBud (@GreenBudAtheist) February 28, 2013

RT @pontifex: May you always experience the joy that comes from putting child anus at the centre of your lives.

— Grumps (@justacword) February 28, 2013

In addition to repulsive fake retweets, some of Twitter’s slimiest gutter sludge gave the pope a predictable sendoff laced with vulgarities and death wishes.

@pontifex I hope you are held to account for concealing the abuses you were duty bound to expose. Burn in hell. Die in a nightmare. Fuck You

— Heywood Jablowme (@NegroLuvKFC) February 28, 2013

I sincerely hope your conscience suffocates you in your sleep tonight, @pontifex, you vile, disgusting failure. Destroyed the entire Church.

— clayfisher (@clayfisher) February 28, 2013

BREAKING: @pontifex is the name of Pope B’s new gay club at his retreat.

— Faith McGregor (@faithomatic) February 28, 2013

@pontifex fuck you!

— Harumancer (@Harumancer) February 28, 2013

. @pontifex Go fuck yourself.

— Jonas (@JonasTDBerry) February 28, 2013

@pontifex drop dead you nazi fuck.

— Alex Parkinson (@AlParklar) February 28, 2013

It’s been a good run Pope Benedict XVI. We’ll miss you. Wine spritzers and little boys await your arrival

— Scotty Zaro (@Lanatural26) February 28, 2013

@pontifex may you always hate gays women’s rights and the sexual choices of little boys!Help the poor, leave the rest alone.

— brian s bembridge (@bsbpyt) February 28, 2013

@absurdlyatheist chester chester child molester @pontifex

— ʇsoɥƃ snoɯʎuouɐ (@thenamelessbat) February 28, 2013

@pontifex If hell existed that’s where you’d be going. Go fuck yourself.

— Kiltro (@kiltro) February 28, 2013

So @pontifex has left the building. Good riddance to the corrupt, child rape-enabling, nazi fucker. #catholic #god #jesus

— Peter Phillips (@Rati0nality) February 28, 2013

.@pontifex Don’t let the door hit you in the ass, old man. Enjoy your gay sex scandal.

— David, Mad Scientist (@Vodstok) February 28, 2013

The Tweet I want to see today: Pope Benedict XVI admits that his retirement allows him more free time to fuck kids, rather than rest.

— Mark (@Mark_SaorAlba) February 28, 2013

@pontifex I’ll enjoy it as much as you do alter boys

— Chris Adler(@adler_chris) February 28, 2013

@pontifex get the fuck outta here!!!get ur registration on sex offenders database!!!

— EL PAJARO QUEMAMAIZ (@piztoff) February 28, 2013

. @pontifex Thank you for nothing. May you come to the conclusion that it was wrong all along to tell other people how to live their lives.

— Anatol Stefanowitsch (@astefanowitsch) February 28, 2013

Like it or not, the pope is praying for all of you, as are Catholics around the world.

God bless the Pope and may God bless the rest of his life and help all those who lash out and make fun of the Pope God Bless them @pontifex

— Randy Rasho(@RandyRasho) February 28, 2013

Just read the replies to @pontifex on Twitter. What a mistake. So many profound haters. Praying for the haters….

— Angelico Press (@AngelicoPress) February 26, 2013

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Mia Farrow: Americans praying for a liberal pope. Who might be a queen

Aren’t you glad that you have Mia Farrow to speak for you?

@miafarrow Why does it have to be someone “liberal?”

— Paul Fleming Jr. (@PaulFlemingJr) March 13, 2013

@miafarrowactually we are rooting for a conservative Pope who will return the church to its values.

— Paul Fischer(@360guardian) March 13, 2013

No, no! Mia has spoken. Are these the same Americans, Mia, whom you sneered at when you parroted the remark that the bible’s definition of marriage shouldn’t be America’s?

Ms. Farrow tweeted when the white smoke was spotted as well.

White smoke. Bells ringing in Rome!!

— mia farrow (@MiaFarrow) March 13, 2013

Huge moment for Catholics! ‘We Have a Pope’.

— mia farrow (@MiaFarrow) March 13, 2013

Alas, sane tweets didn’t last. Her next reply?

@ashjavierparlor maybe both

— mia farrow (@MiaFarrow) March 13, 2013

Nothing like a little disgusting gay-baiting from the oh-so-enlightened Hollyweird set. She continued her jackassery:

RT@robdelaney: MASSIVE respect to Cardinals for bravely choosing the first openly gay Pope. Never thought I’d see this. #courage #faith

— mia farrow (@MiaFarrow) March 13, 2013

Hoping was fun. I’m over it now

— mia farrow (@MiaFarrow) March 13, 2013

Ok forget it. Sound like we have an anti-gay pope.My wife and I will NOT be partying in cute Swiss Guard costumes

— mia farrow (@MiaFarrow) March 13, 2013

You should, however, seek help.


Hey! Ho! All blankets have to go: Mia Farrow wrings hands over Oberlin’s ‘hate incidents’

Mia Farrow: ‘Bob Woodward burned his cloak of impartiality’

Mia Farrow wishes she was hanging out with Dennis Rodman in North Korea

Habemus Papam! New pope is Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio from Argentina; Reaction rolls in [pics]; Update: Pope Francis I

White smoke rising: A new pope has been chosen; Update: Meet Francis I

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Everyone Is So Glad These 11 Animals Are Extinct. They Would Eat You Alive.

Sometimes you might find yourself wishing that dinosaurs still roamed the Earth. After all, Jurassic Park (and its sequels) were popular a reason. Dinosaurs are the coolest things that walked this Earth. (Wait. You don’t think that? So it’s just me then? Well, alright.)

If you wanted to imagine a world where dinosaurs and other prehistoric creatures still roamed the Earth hanging out with humans, you’d definitely want to leave out these 11 terrifying creatures.

Just imagine having to run from dog sized scorpions, and fight giant eagles trying to kill you. Yeah that kind of scary. Take a look.

1.) Millipedes bigger than your cat.

Jorg Schneider

Yeah these things existed. *shudder*.

2.) Spider scorpion hybrids.

This little thing called Attercopus was an early spider, but it came with a scorpion-like stinger. No thank you.

3.) Sharks with teeth the size of a human hand.

The Megalodon shark was the apex sea predator back in good old days. Compared to modern great white sharks Megalodon was a giant, growing up to 50 feet long. Here it is compared in size to a T-Rex.

4.) A 10 foot ape that weighed 1,000 pounds. 

During the Pleistocene era, the Gigantopithecus liked to hang out in the forests of what is today China, India, and Vietnam. This thing was massive, and must have been incredibly strong. Even though it was a vegetarian, I would not want to mess with one of them. 

5.) Birds that could eat their prey in a single bite.

Terror Birds were giant birds that could not fly, but could run super fast. Like as fast as a cheetah, according to some researchers. They were nearly 10 feet tall and had giant heads (three feet long) that allowed them to devour small animals whole, in a single bite. 

6.) A 65 foot snake.

This is the stuff nightmares are made of. Madtsoia was one of the biggest snakes that ever lived. Scientists suspect it dined on dinosaurs, before going extinct 45 million years ago. 

7.) 20 foot tall sloths.

Sloths today are small, slow, and relatively harmless creatures. That wasn’t always the case though. Megatherium lived during the Pliocene era and were the size of elephants today. They could also walk two legs. Terrifying.

8.) Eagles that ate humans.

Birds of prey are small and majestic these days. Back in prehistoric times though, they used to be giant terrors, especially eagles. They were known to hunt and kill human children. The biggest ancient eagle every found was Haast’s eagle in New Zealand. It had a 10 foot wingspan and could reach speeds of up to 50 MPH.

9.) Human sized penguins.

37 million years ago, humans and penguins were on the same level, literally. Palaeeudyptes klekowskii was just a hair shorter than modern day humans. It probably wouldn’t be that scary to have around, but just imagine being hunted by a giant penguin (which could happen, you never know). No thanks.

10.) Spinosaurus. ‘Nuff said.

The Spinosaurus (which you might recognize from Jurassic Park III) was actually a larger and more terrifying predator than the famous T-Rex. What it had on the T-Rex is that Spinosaurus could live and hunt in water. Don’t mess with this guy. 

11.) Giant terrifying crocodile.

The Sarcosuchus lived during the Cretaceous and was twice as long as today’s crocodiles. This creature was a terror, and ate other dinosaurs.

Living back when these giants roamed the Earth would be more terrifying than cool. These aren’t the only extinct creatures that were horrifying… it’s just the tip of the terror iceberg. Be thankful the only creatures you have to worry about today is your roommate’s annoying cat.

Share this list of terrifying prehistoric creatures with your friends on Facebook by clicking below. 

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